I love my husband…sometimes I want to love his face RIGHT off.

I think being a stay at home wife is making me bipolar….some would say the marriage had nothing to do with it. BUT I digest.

 

Sometimes I look at my husband sleeping and he looks so sweet like an innocent boy that I have to kiss him.  He mumbles and kisses back which means he must love me because he was knocked out snoring and has to be at work out the door by 7a.m.   

And then there are the times where he is snippy and annoyed and nothing I do to help fixes or stops it.  In times like these I believe the last thing you should take up is any sort of entertainment surround sound cabling.  For one I am Latin and my patience with men who are acting like a little boy. (see it’s a scale…little boy unconcious kisses…little boy tantrum rip off the face)

So he is fiddling behind the flat screen and asking me to turn on the tv…turn it up…sound..good…turn on dvd player…turn it up..no sound…did I turn it up…snippy snide question..is it on mute?

Uh I know how to use the thing…no sound.   Grumbling behind tv…cables being removed….where is the damn flash light..he left it on the coffee table.

Give tv doctor flash light…where is the other cable he was going to use instead…he left it somewhere…I’ll look can’t find…forget it..he will climb out from behind the tv…oh he left it in his man cave…back behind tv

Where is the damn flashlight again..let me look…he left it in the man cave…I give it to him…no thank you…FRANKING SMAKIN FREEKIN CUSSING from behind the tv….wire not long enough…help back out of behind tv.

Stomps to garage for a box of wires and cables I dont know why he is collecting…because he says he might one day need it why throw it away…like here now he found one to use….back behind tv…wires done… repeat previous steps from the beginning…turn on tv turn up..no surround sound…turn on dvd player…surround sound…fuck it we willstay with surround sound with dvds only…holding extra cable..help unhappy husband out from behind tv..wrap cable around his neck and squeeeezzzeeee!

 

Ok last part didn’t happen in real life but it was a vivid fantasy.  Long MOral short of story…I need to stop waking him up in the middle of the night cause he is a bitch without his sleep!

the intimidation blogfactor. Humiliation MUST BE SHARED

I think i need to be done feeling out done by other people’s blogs here. Everytime I think I should just post my random thoughts I check out a few posts and I am like DAAAAMN. Professional photos interesting smart topics…spell check and grammer. What the freaknfrack am I doing thinking about posting a few run on sentences.  But enough is enough, I need to vent. I need to talk and excercise the demon thoughts from my head and my flailing musings must be released.

 

Yesterday I walked to the shopping center for a few things…it was brisk, I didn’t expect it to be that cold being summer and all. BUT Doi Lulu Summer is Winter in this upside down country.

 

Long story short by the time I got to the check out I realised the true definition of a tense moment as I felt there was a large dragon in the cave and i felt with every breath it was going to fly out and attack the village known as “My self esteem”.  Many of you may think this is some kind of secret code but those who know and understand just sharted themselves laughing.

I wanted to badly to swipe my nose…or find a tissue but I knew I didn’t have one and I didn’t want to anger it or dislodge it. SO I stood there breathing out my mouth looking at the clerk with big scared eyes. She was kinda looking at me puzzled and asked how I was doing. 

The corners of my mouth just twitched and I said a stuffy “Its cold” (dont breath dont breath…is it slipping?)

After I was all done I packed my purchases into my roller cart (here people use little travel carts for groceries and stuff. I should take a picture)  And I made it safely out of the store with no dragon attack. The villagers rejoiced!

Sadly the one loss was Sir Left glove that had to be sacrificed to the dragon. He was brave and took it like a true hero and you would all feel it’s loss more knowing it he touch screen capable to both Iphone/Ipad&Ipod. I KNOW I KNOW..the pain!  Now he lies crumpled at the bottom of Mt Hamper hoping to one day be revised and slide again,  He leaves behind his mate Right Glove.

Hey blog..I gotta lot to say, I just need to avoid the Procrastination bug bite

I really miss blogging, many a time something has happened and I think “Oy I need to blog this” but then i put it off and put it off thinking “I’s married now” sooo I start chopping and cooking dinner for me and the hubby.  Or I get on the lap top and start on ebay jumping or checking Facebook (bad bad guilty pleasure)  

Here in Australia I pretty much shop every other day for fresh groceries and we make something fresh every day. A blessing for living so close to the shopping center with their veggie/fruit stands.

 A reason and the different thing about here is the fridges are not as big as in Texas in fact they are pretty small AND we don’t even have ice in the icebox! Strangly I have had to become used to drinks without ice.

NOBODY here uses ice! They have bottles of whatever in the icebox cooling and they drink them OUT of the bottle or in a glass SANS ice. Now I have been known to ask for EXTRA ice with a drink but here people get mad if you put more than 3 pieces of ice in a drink. I think it’s cause we in America are spoiled with the automatic free refill rule. It does not exist here people.

BUT I digest…heh. What I am trying to say is get ready for a bombardment of random nonsensical badly grammered blogs of events that happened so far and none of it in any type of order. 

They will just fall out as they may from my brain like ticks off a dogs back.

ew

I Hate You Australia…but for all the wrong reasons

Oh Australia how I hate you now that I live here.

 I hate you for your brilliant and convient Transportation…because now I don’t need to know how to drive and I can go anywhere I want…but I dont have anyone to go with.

 I hate you for your gorgeous birds because my Mah isn’t here to be in awe and excited about them.

 I hate you for your accents because as unique in my world they maybe…they continue to remind me I am far from home.

 Oh and I hate you for your uber cool inner city look that I know my friends would love to wander and shop in.

ACK and I really hate you for your extreme malls that said friends would live to visit and go to your state of the art movie theaters but none of you really like to go to for what ever reason and YOU HAVE ASSIGNED Seating!! AND since it is not popular to go to a movie you charge 18.99 per person and have limited times for movies!!! Oh but the screens…those major state of the art screens.

I hate how you have the driver side on the passenger side and the passenger side on the driver side cause it is like birarro world and kinda makes me nauseous…but I dont drive and most of the few people I know here do not really drive so I am very rarely in a vehicle.

I hate your politics cause even though I have never been political I knew where the lines were drawn and when I said DAMN the man…I kinda knew who that man was…here I be lost..labor, liberal I dont know! Those words sound good to me..but the way they talk about it on the streets and TV it is in the crapper!

I hate your skimpy clothed GORGEEEEOUS men who are always jogging or biking or tennising or footballing in the park or on the streets in tight skimpy shorty short shorts when I have no gay husband/friend here to groan/drool/chase after with!

I hate how there are no other Mexicans and Everytime I have tried one of your “Mexican”like Tacos or Nachos…….I am so let down. YES I can make my own…its just not the same as going out.

I hate how nothing opens till about 9a.m. and everything closes before 9pm…but then again I never have to get up before sun rise to get to work on time.

I hate your amazing brilliant humanitarian people first medical system to which even though I just lost my job I dont have to ever skimp on health care or medicines. And it makes me feel guilty that I can’t bottle that and ship it home to my family. GET IT TOGETHER AMERICAN GOVERNMENT!

Most of all I hate that nobody I grew up with/shared a room with/seen in bras and undies/cried with/borrowed pads from/split a dinner plate with/was born from, isn’t here to enjoy/hate all the wonderful things you have to offer.

le siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh mate

I just got hit on by Geriatric Gigolo!

Seriously this man was old enough to be my father…perhaps a few years older than my father.  AND I was blindly leading him on!!

My husband and I just went to the mall and watched the remake of Fright Night, did some grocery shopping and caught the bus home.  It was a BEAUTIFUL day and hubby said since we had heavy groceries he was going to book it home with the stuff. My back has been out so he knew I was going to move slower.   Cool with me I had my ipod on and was enjoying my favorite podcast “Gay Pimpin with Jonny McGovern”.

I was strolling the path across the park and was heading to our block entrance when I kinda hear somebody talking to me. I pull off my earbud and there is this old man in blue riding a bike with a helmet and all.  I stop and smile and say hello and he has this very thick foreign accent telling me it is a beautiful day for a walk.  Now I just moved here to Australia and I have only met 2 neighbors and one of them is this little Italian man next door that my husband has known since he was a boy.   I think is it our neighbor Italy so I smile and just chat with him that yes it was beautiful and finally the weather is getting out of winter (it’s Winter here in Australia now going to Summer) 

Then this guy asks me where I live and I got confused…or maybe he was so old he forgot he lived next door to us? OR I KNOW…its my accent! He was trying to ask where I was from so I laugh and say I am from Texas I just moved here to be with my huuuusband.   He nods and smiles and mentions how beautiful it is for a walk…again….

Luckly I am wearing my sun shades cause I really start to look at his face and realist two things.   A. this man is not my Italian neighber and B. He is staring at my boobs.

There is an awkward silence as I am processing this and then he asks me if I have a boyfriend. DROP a bomb on me now people this seals the deal that by accident I was leading this little senior citizen biker on by showing such genuine joy that he had stop me on my way home.   He probably thought I was a shoe in on getting the digits and I feel bad (not) when I flash him my ring and let him know i have a husband.

TO which I am looking down the path hoping he has some secret sense or feeling that it is taking me much to long to get home and he is going to stalk his big body builder frame down after me.

Nope ofcourse not…he has terrible timing it’s almost no timing. So I awkwardly nod and wave and let my admirer know it was nice speaking to him and well…bye.

I hear romeo call out “Oh you have a husband And I am looking for a wife”   I smile  give a nervous laugh, wave and move faster.

As I am walking away my mouth is open and I am mouthing OH MY GOD!   And as I turn into my gate my husband opens the front door telling me to come through the front because there was a flock of galahs in the back then stops and asks whats wrong.

I tell him my mistaken identity/pickup and he just says “Huh…your doing better than I ever did in this neighborhood”

 

THANKS honey…way to give me a silver lining.

sheesh

The loss of a blog

I know that I am pretty new here, due in the fact I was left unceramoniously by my blog.  I…I really dont know what happened, I thought we had a wonderful relationship.  We met through a friend in 2004 and hit it off right away.  Long rambling posts almost every night…sometimes all through the day. I would even visit my blog while I was at work I was so infatuated!   But as the years went by maybe things started to get stale..we had a few disagreements…went on a break but I always came back when I really needed my blog and it would be like we first met!

Sure I have a few bad gramattical habits and I leave the spelling to the imagination.   SURE like most comfortable relationships people get lazy…maybe I didn’t post as often as my blog liked.  Perhaps there was a few indescretions with a facebook BUT IT WAS EASY. Wham bam! No thinking required just a quick sentence or two you get off and your on your happy merry way.

I should have known my blog would find out! My blog was a sweet low key sort of blog that didn’t have alot of worldly travel to it.  Now…now because of my neglect and cheating facebook ways. MY  BLOG IS GONE!  Without a word! No note..due to technical difficulties..no forwarding website..nothing!   Just this ugly Ping page showing our old addy which doesn’t work.

Now here I am…starting a new relationship…nervous, defensive..slightly neurotic..yet still willing to give the rambling written word a chance. 

I just can’t help it I am a silly wordy romantic.

New Start In a New Blog

Hey Hi Howdy, well here I am and this is my first word that all yee who venture here shall judge by.

So the word is……….Peppercorn.

THERE Judge!